Saturday, 29 December 2012

So I have changed my mind

 I was going to start ABC but it hasn't been working fast enough, so from today I'm fasting. I don't know how long for. It should only be for a few days but i'm hoping it will just get me started. But I'm not going to do it for long as I have exams coming up soon so I don't want to be faint for that. So three days maximum I think.
 Not much has been going on the last few days I've been shopping twice. Once with my friend and her sister and once with my mum. With my friend it was a really good day we went to a big shopping centre and she has an eating disorder so I didn't really have to worry about food then. However I felt so embarrassed because she is tiny and I looked so huge compared to her and I just wished I was as thin as her. One day I will get there. I have a look way to go though.
 Yesterday I went with my mum and it was good but we have a lot of difference in what is nice and what isn't. We also needed to sort a new phone out for me as my contract has ran out. So I am now an owner of an Iphone 5 and it is a lot better than my blackberry. So I'm happy about that.
 I'm not doing anything today either I don't think. Just going to do some exercise and then I have work later. So that's just another boring day.
 I'll let you know if something exciting happens.

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

ABC Diet

So tomorrow I've decided to try the ABC diet, I'm hoping that I can make it through the 50 days. So thats my goal starting tomorrow to make it through that diet. I don't know how much I weigh, and I probably don't want to but I will weigh in tomorrow morning for my start weight. Well let you know how it's all going.

Sales shopping

So tomorrow, me and my friend are going sales shopping. I'm excited because I love shopping, but she is tiny and so thin and she is going to be getting such smaller sizes than me. So hopefully it will be a good day just hoping it goes well and that there is plenty of good items in the sales.
 Today is so boring, I haven't really done anything and I don't plan on doing anything all day as there isn't much to do. I usually go to see family on boxing day but I'm not this year. So if anyone has any good ideas of things to do then please tell me haha.
 I have exams when I go back to school in January and I still haven't started revising yet so maybe thats a good thing to start doing today but I'm not feeling it, too much effort and I'm still tired from yesterday. But that will be something I need to start at the weekend.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

The worst and best parts for christmas

Lets start with positive seen as it's christmas and we show all be happy. So good things:

  • Presents, everyone loves getting presents 
  • Seeing family, I love seeing some of my family some not so much
  • Having a laugh, once the parents have had a few drinks its always funny to watch them
So now not the so good bits, I mean most people would still love christmas for some of theses reasons but I don't:

  • The food, I mean most people love christmas dinner but I just can't enjoy it thinking about all the calories. And there is all the chocolate and stuff like that
  • Arguments sometimes at home we have arguments even on christmas which I hate but started to get used too
One other thing is that I really wish it would snow, I love the snow. And I got lots of presents and I'm happy with all of them. Got lots of makeup and clothes. As well I got a phone. So what did everyone else get? And I wish you all a merry christmas. And I hope you all have a really good day :)

Monday, 24 December 2012


So today it's christmas eve, and i'm still work, but my mum is also wanting to go out for lunch which i am not looking forward too. I'm excited for christmas just not all the food that comes with it. We are going to my uncles for christmas this years. So he'll have tonnes of food prepared for us all. But anyway it should be fun.
 I hope everyone has a good christmas.

Friday, 21 December 2012

going out!

So i'm starting to get ready to go out, and this is what I look like for all of you that don't know

I know i'm crap at this

So sorry everyone, i've been so busy, working and school. And to be honest not much has been going in my life. It's just the same thing every day. But anyway these are the few things that are happening:
 Today at school it was the last day so we got to dress up, i dressed up like santa, and i decided to wear heeled boots to try look taller and to make me legs look thinner. This kind of worked but they still looked huge. However I fell over twice which was embarrassing especially in front of everyone in from school. Now not looking forward to go back in January. I just hope everyone that saw forgets.
 Also at school we were all giving presents to each other, and now I have so much chocolate which is not good because now i'm just going to eat it all. And I don't want to gain any weight. I know I won't lose for a while as it's christmas which unfortunately means lots of food but I'm trying to gain at least. So I'll let you know how that goes.
 It was also meant to be the end of the world today so well done to everyone who survived that. Haha, i'm glad that didn't happen.
 It's also a friends birthday tonight, so we're going out for a meal, just going to try go for something which I think has the least calories. But hopefully it'll be a good night. We are just saying over and having a girly night afterwards.
 But that's about it, not much is really going on in my life. I don't know if i will be on again before christmas. So I hope everyone has a good christmas and gets everything they want.

Friday, 14 December 2012

University application and parties

So my university application went off today finally!! Now just can't wait until I go next year, so bored of 6th form and being at home. I'm just looking forward to being independent.
 So anyway now i'm just excited for christmas and all i seem to be doing now is going to parties on a weekend now. I have one tonight and one next weekend. I love going to parties but i'm worried about my body and how i look. I just wish I had a better body. But I can't do anything about it now. I just have to enjoy.
 So today at school anyway in psychology we were talking about different mental disorders and everyone was shocked about how much I knew about eating disorders and depression so I wish I'd just kept quiet now. Even my teacher was shocked. So it got quite awkward and people were asking how I knew all of it. And all I said was that 'I just did'. There wasn't really much else I could say.
 I've also started dieting with my friend. She just wants to tone up really but i'm desperate to lose all this weight. Does anyone have any ideas of the best diets that help you lose fast, I really need the help. I'm sick of looking like this, don't want to be fat anymore.

Sunday, 9 December 2012


So this weekend has been super busy. Yesterday I was working all day and barely had time to do anything else. Then today I have been shopping and have spent a lot more than what I was hoping to spend so I hope all my friends will be happy. Now I just want to curl up in bed and sleep, I am so incredibly tired it's untrue. I have also found out that I am going to my uncles for christmas meaning that there is no way of me getting out of eating all lots of food so now I am worrying. I also have an 18th birthday party on friday and I don't really want to go as I don't want people to see my figure in a dress as I'm huge and I'm disgusted with myself. So I haven't decided if I'm going to go or not get. So we'll see what I decide. I just can't wait for christmas to be over so everything will quieten down again.

Thursday, 6 December 2012


Sorry i haven't been on in the last few days. I've been ill so haven't been on, but feeling better now :) Not looking forward to going back to school tomorrow and having a load of work to catch up on. Also had the dentist today and now have to have some work done to my teeth so not looking forward to that either. So life isn't so great at the moment. Just can't wait for it to be the holidays so I don't have to be at school.

Sunday, 2 December 2012


This isn't really about me but it shocked me how much young children think about their appearance and how insecure they are. So anyway once a year me, my aunt and my cousin have a day of doing christmas things. That day was today. So we were there and about to have lunch and she wouldn't eat the crisps because she didn't want to get fat. And I said she wasn't and she just grabbed her stomach. She was also getting upset about boys and she started crying. And I was just in shock because she is only 7 and she's acting like this. It's scary how young children think and what society has done to not only teens but younger children too.